First of all, I have to admit, I don’t know how to spell absorbsion. My spell check wants me to “absorb ions”. But I’m feeling electrically neutral today so there will be no ion absorbsion. I’ll just switch to narcisism. Okay… apparently, I can’t spell that either… it’s also got the red line of idiocy. So let’s go with self-focus. There we go. No red line.
Okay. . . Kill Joy # 1 is self focus… or self obsession. (goody! no red lines there either).
I can actually think of about three different things that prove the point … at the same time providing motivation for us to do something besides think about ourselves.
1). “Make my joy complete.” Absorb the full section of Scripture here: then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Php. 2:2-5). See? Paul’s joy is complete not by being absorbed with himself but by being absorbed with the body and the attitude of Christ. He is joyful when he is like-minded with the body, when he shares the same love, when he is unified in purpose and spirit with other believers. He is joyful when his motives are not selfish, ambitious or empty. He is joyful when he considers others above himself. He is joyful when he looking to the interests of others.
2) Augustine once said that we will never be at rest until we are at rest in him. Is this not what Jesus meant when he said “If you obey my commands, myself and the Father will come and abide with you.” And what is his command but that we “love one another.” The logic is solid. If we love each other, then the love of God himself resides in us. And where love resides, we also find ourselves at joy.
The Christmas season proves this… so does nesting season after a child is born into this world. I remember when my kids were first born and Ginger and I were spending time in the hospital. There were no agenda items, no to-do’s more important than just abiding. And abide we did. We were filled with the interest of our new baby and we were at peace. We were at joy. The same with Christmas. Christmas is a time to just abide in Christ… to abide with one another. There is no need to be somewhere, to hurry, to focus on self. And for a day or two or three, the world is joyful.
By the way… I did a study on suicides over the holidays. During Christmas itself, suicides actually go DOWN! It’s only after the holidays are OVER that people get back to their life consuming depression.
3) Personal experience as a counselor. I don’t do much counseling anymore. Okay, let me rephrase. I don’t do counseling anymore. Crossroads is blessed with Kevin Guffey…. a man with a passion for counseling. Unfortunately, when I do counseling with people, they tend to leave my office crying. And I’m left with an expression on my face that says simply, “What?” However, one of the things I do know is that in those few occasions when I have been able to successfully counsel someone I have helped direct them to some form of service for someone else.
I guess I would say we just don’t have time to have problems of our own when we’re focused on helping someone else. That’s my counsel for the day.
If we stop being so focused on ourselves, we’ll be more likely to find the joy we’ve been missing.
Preview… The three things I am going to address are 1) self-obsession, and then in parts two and three — Pragmatism and Restlessness. And, by the way, I blatantly stole these ideas from Ronald Rolheiser’s book “Holy Longing.” See you next time.