Weekend In Arlington

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So I had opportunity to drive down to Arlington, TX this weekend. Got news that my Granny is in hospice care. She’s 91 years old and… well… how should I say it, still giving people hell after all these years! I say that tongue in cheek… mostly because if my Granny ever heard me (or read me) use the word “Hell” like that, she’d literally put soap in my mouth to “wash it out.”

I love my Granny. When I was a very small child, it was a treat to get to sleep in Granny’s room, because you got to be and feel very special for a magnificent moment in time. Granny would either read (with her very animated voice) “The Three Billy Goats Gruff” or she’d make up her own story, which often began with “a fat lady in a bird-bath.” Not sure why, but it always got a giggle out of me. That’s probably why.

Trips to her farm near Lingleville, TX were highlights of my youth. The two hour trip felt like an eternity until we finally hit the gravel road that ended with her small farmhouse. I still recall feeling lit up inside to be on that farm with granny. Remember the smell of her famous yeast rolls. The smell and sound of a roaring fire in her fireplace around Christmas time. The dim lamp light in her living room as we sat around the tree opening presents for what seemed like hours on Christmas Eve.

She would chase us around the house. Tickle us until we nearly peed ourselves. May have in some cases, I can’t remember for sure. Encourage an adventurous spirit within us. Arm us with a 410 shotgun and set us free to eliminate (if possible) the worlds rabbit, possum and armadillo populations. Specifically because they were always ruining her vegetable garden. She was rambunctious, full of spirit, and alive to God, people, and to the world. She survived an abusive alcoholic husband (who quite probably loved her best he could in that condition). She survived a divorce, a serious car accident, many years of living alone on a farm, and truly God knows what else. Tenacity, vibrancy, joy, humor, love. All words I would use to describe my Granny. Sometimes affectionately known as Granny Grunt.

Not too long ago, Granny was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. A disease that effects the brain, and therefore, the personality. Granny really left us long ago. In the nursing home, she has been difficult for her family, and even for her nursing staff to help. But that’s not the Granny I remember, nor eulogize here.

Tonight, she lies fragile and weak in a nursing home bed in East Fort Worth. She is in the last of a series of nursing homes. The last one that would accept responsibility to care for her.

My Granny Grunt is moments, hours, could be a couple of days (no one really knows) from moving out of her earthly body and into the next place. In some ways, I envy her. Wish I was going.

What I wish and pray for her is that God has a sense of humor. That the first thing she’ll see is a “fat lady in a birdbath.” Maybe then she’ll think of me, return to her old self, and long for the day when I get to join her there.

I love you Granny. But you know that already.


Kill Joy #1- Self Absorbsion (Synopsis of a point made by Ron Rolheiser in “Holy Longing”)

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First of all, I have to admit, I don’t know how to spell absorbsion. My spell check wants me to “absorb ions”. But I’m feeling electrically neutral today so there will be no ion absorbsion. I’ll just switch to narcisism. Okay… apparently, I can’t spell that either… it’s also got the red line of idiocy. So let’s go with self-focus. There we go. No red line.

Okay. . . Kill Joy # 1 is self focus… or self obsession. (goody! no red lines there either).

I can actually think of about three different things that prove the point … at the same time providing motivation for us to do something besides think about ourselves.

1). “Make my joy complete.” Absorb the full section of Scripture here: then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Php. 2:2-5). See? Paul’s joy is complete not by being absorbed with himself but by being absorbed with the body and the attitude of Christ. He is joyful when he is like-minded with the body, when he shares the same love, when he is unified in purpose and spirit with other believers. He is joyful when his motives are not selfish, ambitious or empty. He is joyful when he considers others above himself. He is joyful when he looking to the interests of others.

Try it.

2) Augustine once said that we will never be at rest until we are at rest in him. Is this not what Jesus meant when he said “If you obey my commands, myself and the Father will come and abide with you.” And what is his command but that we “love one another.” The logic is solid. If we love each other, then the love of God himself resides in us. And where love resides, we also find ourselves at joy.

The Christmas season proves this… so does nesting season after a child is born into this world. I remember when my kids were first born and Ginger and I were spending time in the hospital. There were no agenda items, no to-do’s more important than just abiding. And abide we did. We were filled with the interest of our new baby and we were at peace. We were at joy. The same with Christmas. Christmas is a time to just abide in Christ… to abide with one another. There is no need to be somewhere, to hurry, to focus on self. And for a day or two or three, the world is joyful.

By the way… I did a study on suicides over the holidays. During Christmas itself, suicides actually go DOWN! It’s only after the holidays are OVER that people get back to their life consuming depression.

3) Personal experience as a counselor. I don’t do much counseling anymore. Okay, let me rephrase. I don’t do counseling anymore. Crossroads is blessed with Kevin Guffey…. a man with a passion for counseling. Unfortunately, when I do counseling with people, they tend to leave my office crying. And I’m left with an expression on my face that says simply, “What?” However, one of the things I do know is that in those few occasions when I have been able to successfully counsel someone I have helped direct them to some form of service for someone else.

I guess I would say we just don’t have time to have problems of our own when we’re focused on helping someone else. That’s my counsel for the day.


If we stop being so focused on ourselves, we’ll be more likely to find the joy we’ve been missing.

Preview… The three things I am going to address are 1) self-obsession, and then in parts two and three — Pragmatism and Restlessness. And, by the way, I blatantly stole these ideas from Ronald Rolheiser’s book “Holy Longing.” See you next time.

Theological Physics and an Apology for the Existence of God (Part 2)

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Okay, so you saw in the Genesis 1 account which I believe to be both mythical and true simultaneously, that light was created before the very things that we would normally consider to be light ‘sources.’ This is important. Why? Because it shows that concept precedes reality. Or, function precedes form.

In essense, what I am saying is that light does not ultimately rely on it’s physical forms or sources to exist. Light exists because God, the ultimate non-contingency called it into being. He said, “Let there be light.” And there it was. Only later did he create the sun, moon, stars, and separate light out and put it in its varoius form to be emanated from its various “sources.”

Now for something more profound. Scripture tells us that God is light and in him is no darkness at all. God is light. God created light. God created light before he created the physical forms that emanate it. Therefore the light that emanates from all “sources” is greater than the sources themselves. Now let’s apply that same logic to something else Scripture says God is.

God is love. God created love, God created love before he created the physical forms that emanate it. Therefore the love of God that emanates from all earthly “sources” (i.e. you and me) is actually greater than the sources themselves. Is it not true that Scripture tells us that God pours his love into our hearts by his Holy Spirit? This is divine love and it emanates form us and from an earthly viewpoint, it would appear that we are the source of that love. But quite to the contrary, God is the source off love, he pours it into our hearts and we merely shine it.

Isn’t it great to know that a God who can call light into existence before there was any matter to project that light can also call love into existence that we may project something that is far greater than ourselves.

In conclusion…

All things are contingent upon God. God is, therefore, the ultimate non-contingent.

As such, God called things into being in such a way that function precedes form. Light before Sun. Love before Humanity.

But as light emanates from the Sun though God is the source, so love emanates from us and the Holy Spirit is the source.

God is real. His love is big. And we need them both.